I am the oldest of 4 girls in my family, we have a baby brother too but he is much younger than even the youngest sister. In a category by himself. This is about sisters.

Sisterhood is a tenuous relationship. Sure, some sisters are really best friends, but that is the exception and not the rule in my experience. My relationships with each of my sisters varies greatly, and in the relationships they have with each other. I am the only sister who tries to always get along with all of the others, but Shannon and I have always had a rocky love for one another. At times we just don't like each other much, even though we have always tried to get along anyway.

Shannon is the closest in age to me, only 5 years younger. She and I grew up as the only two children in the house. Dee was raised by her own mother, and Melanie was born after Shannon and I had grown up enough to move out on our own. So Shannon is my sister sister. She was my nemesister. Our personalities have always clashed. But I love her and have been her protector her entire life. Except when it was me she needed protection from… I tried to kill her once when we were very young. I don’t think she ever got over it.

In adulthood, although first it was my lifestyle that was in question through my early drug use, and then after I became clean Shannon chose to walk the same road and I was extremely hurt by her decisions. And even put myself far enough above her to try and look down on her. (Shame on me!) Our relationship became very tense for several years.

In the past few years however, we have gotten to know each other as women and not the sister of our childhood, and we've became quite close. I would do anything for her.

The man she has been with off and on for the past 3 years has become increasingly violent. She has left him several times, seeking refuge with various family members and friends of the family. Only to return each time. To the point where I had made up my mind that unless she was willing to leave him for good she deserved what she got. (Again....shame on me)

I keep expecting her to be as strong as I am, to not take abuse from anyone. But Shannon has never had the strength of character that I have. She's never needed it.

Last Friday night, Shannon found her strength and came to my house in the middle of the night seeking shelter for her and her small son. Although I only have a 2 bedroom house and there already 4 of us here, I am more than willing to put them up.

But................she sleeps till noon. She is pregnant and eats like a fat man at a free buffet. And I'm a bitch.

I wanted her here, sure don't want her going back to the abusive asshole who fathered her babies. But I am a "my house, my rules" type of gal. I refuse to make my children tiptoe through thier own house because someone is sleeping on the couch, hours after we have all risen. I expect anyone visiting to eat the foods I cook, the way I cook them, or go hungry. I am not changing my family's diet to meet the whims of a 1 year old. I didn't do it for my own children and I won't do it for hers. (Gosh....I'm mean)

She couldn't take it and yesterday moved her stuff to my Dad's. I'm glad....and yet I almost feel that I let her down a little bit.

I'm her sister.

But foremost....I'm a b!tch.Sorry about that Shannon.